This is the dream that started it all. I used this as a basis for the story itself. You may recognize some of the events, if you’ve read Made to Forget. If you haven’t yet, I sincerely hope you go read it now! Please like the Facebook Page too!
There was a football game. There was something about this game that seemed oddly familiar but I couldn’t place it. Then I saw someone I knew but couldn’t remember meeting him. I approached from behind, following him to the busy and overcrowded concessions hall. I tapped him on the shoulder, “Excuse me, but I know you.”
He turned around to face me. A flash of surprise lit his eyes and then they became dark again. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t believe I’ve met you before.”
“But you have. I never forget a face.”
“That must be a very hard talent to come by.”
“Not really. I could have just met you briefly in a hall somewhere, but I know I haven’t. There’s a vague sense of familiarity and I don’t get that with someone I’ve only bumped into once.”
He nodded with his lips pressed firmly together. But he wasn’t nodding at me. He was looking over my head. “Okay. Say you have met me before. What is it you want?”
I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. Instead I gaped at him, open mouth, as he stared at me with a fierce intensity that made me feel like I’ve done something wrong. I realized I didn’t know what I wanted. I just felt this incredible pull towards him that I couldn’t explain with this enormous sense of familiarity and I just followed it.
“I—I’m sorry. I didn’t think this through. I normally don’t…do that. Forgive me.”
I turned and walked away, pushing my way through the crowd and praying I could disappear into the endless sea of bodies and drown in my embarrassment. I bumped into someone, not paying attention to where I was going, just desperately wishing for a dark corner. I felt a tug on my vest pocket and turned to see the very endless sea of people, seemingly ending as half time was coming to an end. No one stuck out to me though, so I continued on.
On my way back to my seat I felt something vibrate in my vest pocket. The very one that I felt being pulled in the middle of the crowd. I ducked into the crook of a pillar and wall and pulled out the small communicator that was vibrating. I flipped open the cover and read the words. You weren’t supposed to approach me. But since you did, I need to know how much you remember.
I stared at the thing in my hand and tried to decipher how to input my response. But there wasn’t anything but a bunch of small colored dials set against a silver casing with a blue screen that glowed in an all too bright aura. My vision blurred as I stared at the thing in my hand wondering what kind of joke was being played on me or if I had inadvertently found someone from my past. My past that remains shrouded in darkness.
I get flashes of what happened before hand. Before that, I don’t remember dreaming such weird things. Now, I dream of something chaotic and dying, but refusing medical treatment to save someone. Someone who’s face looks blurred, like trying to view them from under murky water. My heart always felt like it was dancing, and dying at the same time. As if the sight of the person made me feel something much more intense than normal human love and then at the same time despair because it knew it’s beats were numbered.
But I wake up, drenched in sweat and flashes beyond the dream continue to play in my mind. The images flashing like distorted memories playing with hidden and blurred faces.
Suddenly, my cheeks felt wet, and I realized my vision blurred not from staring at the communicator’s words but from tears that found their way from my eyes. I placed it back into my pocket and returned to my seat to watch the game, alone.
It would be several days before I would hear anything from them again. And this time I was at home. That small communicator sounded again, this time in a strange digital ring. I followed the sound not knowing what it was and found it about ready to take a dive off of my dresser. I caught it, mid-air, and quickly flipped it open and pushed a button that I hadn’t realized I had done until it was done and then placed it to my ear.
“So, you’re remembering.”
“Who is this and what exactly do you want?”
“You came looking for me, remember?”
“No, if I remember correctly—which I do, I only followed you because I recognized you and wanted to know why. I wasn’t searching for you. So don’t delude yourself.”
“Careful. You don’t want to injure my feelings.”
“Tell me, what do you remember?”
“Why are you so keen on my memories for someone who was so convinced they never met me before barely a week ago?”
“I hadn’t known the level of…never mind that.”
“I’m not sure what you think I know, but I honestly don’t remember anything passed waking up in the med ward in section 6. They said I had amnesia. Severe amnesia. But then the dream—You know, I’m not sure why I should be telling you this. You could be out to kill me.”
I wasn’t convinced. I sat on my bed. My fingers mindlessly followed the knots and loops of the woven comforter that I was given. The silkiness of the blanket made me want to curl up in it and dream of the place I that remained out of reach to me.
The man sighed. “Look, if it is any consolation, you and I were very close. I couldn’t kill you anymore than you could me.”
“You clearly don’t know me that well.”
“No? If you think you could kill me, then you are welcome to. Gaiya knows, I deserve it.”
“Gaiya?” Gaiya…Gaiya…that name, it’s familiar to me. “I remember something.”
“What?” It came out to eager. I heard him clear his voice. It struck me as odd that he would show so much emotion. It was unusual for him to do so. “What is it you remember exactly?”
“It’s nothing really. To you anyway. Look, as much as I enjoy trying to decode and unravel the mystery of my mind, I can’t spend forever talking into a communicator with you.”
“But you are remembering. You couldn’t remember how to use it the other day and you seemed to have remembered just as you caught it mid-air.”
“How did you—“
My body went cold all over. I started looking around the room for a camera, hidden away. The communicator still glued against my head. I moved around quickly and found nothing. Everything was in its place. My bedroom, clean and immaculate looked as it always had since the day I came home. The window that spanned the entire exterior wall was shielded. I can see out but no one can see in. The wall to the right had my bed, with my dresser on the wall next to it and my full length mirror with wicker trim in the corner along with a rocking chair with a bear in it. The bear that brought a comforting since of welcome and…and…
“I know a lot about you. I told you, we were very close.”
“How close?” I whispered still staring at the bear. With dark brown fur and the plastic black beaded eyes. It sat with arms outstretched as if begging for a hug.
He sighed. “Keep the communicator with you at all times. I’ll be in contact with you soon.”
The line went silent. I slowly dropped my arm to my side, flipping the cover of the communicator closed.
Later, that night he called again, this time, I answered it in the living room.
“We need to meet.”
My heart did an odd flip in my chest. It was hard to breath for a moment and it what was more shocking than the rest was all of it was excitement. I took a deep breath and nodded, despite his not being able to see me. “Okay, when and where?” I forced out evenly.
“I’m at your door now.”
I opened my mouth to ask how he knew where I lived but quickly shut it thinking there could have been a tracking device in the communicator or the fact that there could be more cameras in my apartment. I stood up from my couch and walked slowly towards the door. I imputed the key quickly and it slid open.
He stood on the other side with the communicator to his head staring at me as if he was surprised I would actually open the door for him. He wore black slacks and a navy blue shirt that buttoned up the right side of his chest his black shoes were polished to a shine. He worked for the organization. I had half a mind of pushing the button to close the door, but it was too hard to move. I stared at him feeling my heart do the same thing that it did in my dream, delight and despair.
“Are you going to invite me in?” He asked as he blinked rapidly and removed the communicator.
I lowered mine and stepped to the side to let him in. He walked in quickly and pushed the button to close the door, then turned and faced me. He looked at me with such intensity that I couldn’t help but feel like a piece of art that was put on display. I couldn’t tell if he was seeing beauty or something so terrible that he was captivated by the dark.
His hair was black as night, along with his eyes and here bordered by arched brows that were extreme but added to his complexity. His nose was short and abrupt with lips that were smooth and full shaped, but not plump. His hair was long enough to cover half his ears in tiny sharp points. He was taller than me but only by a few inches.
“You have to tell me what you remember,” he began. “Otherwise, I can’t protect you.”
“Why do I need protection?” I found it hard to breath around him. So the words came out shaky, letting on too much.
“Think, tell me what you remember. Start from the beginning.” His eyes begged as his voice was as soft as a feather that traced my cheek, even though he was a good arms reach from me.
I backed away and went to the couch to sit. My straight backed leather sectional the color of storm clouds lined the far wall. The floor to ceiling window that took up the exterior wall was opened to view the city moving along below and around us. I sat down, turned to look at the transporters outside and thought of where to begin. Just as the city moved along without my knowledge or interference, so did my story.
“I remember being surrounded in blackness— a thick black that encompassed everything. I couldn’t breathe. But I didn’t panic either. I just waited for the time that I could breathe in. Then I opened my eyes to bright white lights, fresh air entering my lungs and an overwhelming since of panic. I had no idea where I was or why. I knew that I had just gone through something horribly traumatic but I couldn’t remember exactly what. It felt like someone had wiped my mind clean of any memories.
“I ended up passing out from the panic and woke up in a hospital room. The only thing there was a big brown fluffy bear that seemed too familiar to me. It was different though, something was missing, I thought. But I pulled it close to me and held it to my chest. I was told by the med staff that I had been in an accident and was suffering from severe amnesia with no known cause or cure.
“When I was released to go home, I felt like I was alien to my surroundings. Nothing felt like mine. It felt like I was a stranger to everything around me. I was told that was a known side effect and I would become more comfortable as time went on. Then the dreams started.
“I knew I was dying, but I needed to save someone. Their life meant more than mine for some reason, and when I tried to look in his face, it wouldn’t come into focus. It was like looking into murky water just to see my own reflection. Chaos was brimming all around me. People were running and shouting. Alarms were sounding. Bright lights were blinking on dashboards.
“The person I was trying to save was pushing me away and for some reason, it hurt. Not just physically, but other ways as well. Emotionally, spiritually, everything. Every nerve ending shattered within me and yet, I still stayed to help. I still needed to help.
“And then I wake up.” I finished then looked back towards the familiar stranger. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest. His lips pressed firmly together in a straight line and even then, as furious as he was, he looked completely handsome. My heart flipped inside me, my breaths came in short rapid succession. “Then I saw you at the game and I don’t know why, but you seemed completely familiar to me. So much so that I had to find out why. Then when you seemed, at first, surprised to see me, I thought for sure you knew me too. But then you were so insistent on not knowing me. Why go through all that effort if only to show up at my door? Why are you spying on me? What exactly is going on?”
“You remember too much.”
“What? I don’t understand.” My eyes found a spot on his hand. A spot that shone slightly where there was something that had been there, lighter than the rest of his skin but with an essence that shone like glitter only muted. I sucked in a breath and looked down at my hand, where the same thing was on my own finger. A band of lightened skin, like the removal of a binding. I shook my head. No. It’s not possible. This is not possible. I’m human and that ritual is only for the Nepherium. But just as I thought that, I remembered lying down with him on the floor with the brown bear next to us, and I…I was in his arms.